I am me, there is no other me. There is no other girl called Toby spelt Toubie. I was never taught to own my name, instead, my name owned me and my name was not kind because I was teased about my name all the time so I grew up being scared of my name, being scared to introduce myself. And I had these really big eyes and people used to comment all the time. The commenting stopped when I started to understand what the constant admiration had done to my child self who did not think she was worthy because her friends kept telling her she had a dog’s name and her parents did not make her name feel significant either. So, she grew up believing she was no good because of her name. Until she met a friend who told her that if she hated it so much that she should just change it.
It was then that I realised that I was hiding behind something that I did not want to change so I started to accept that I was Toubie Jack and that was it. If I wanted to become that successful person who hides inside of me then I had to start accepting my name and what it stood for. So I began.
I began to step out as an artist and take on commissions, and I started to look at myself differently. With each project I secured the more confidence I started to develop at being Toubie Jack. I am still going through a period of massive growth as to who I am as an artist and that is getting stronger with every commission I receive. And I am so much more comfortable with my name now, that I can almost smile when someone mispronounces it.